Hi there!

So while I was biking back home from the dentist, I was thinking about how awkward the whole situation had been, when it suddenly *ahum* occurred to me how awkward actually my whole life is. And how awkward I make it. Because I get like, uber-stressed in social situations you know, I'm this "please-hide-me-from-the-presence-of-the-human-existence-because-I-suck-at-human-interaction"-type of person. And so the idea for this article was born (oh, how cliché). So, are you a "please-hide-me-from-the-presence-of-the-human-existence-because-I-suck-at-human-interaction"-type of person, then continue reading, if not, then also continue reading. ^_^

Disclaimer: I'm not poking fun at people who suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder. Nor am I not taking this disorder seriously. I understand the existence of mental health problems and the importance of them being treated. I do take them seriously and I hope you guys do too.



1. Dentist's appointments or orthodontist's appointments (or anything alike for that matter). 
So there you go, on your way to the horror that you need to go through every half a year. And before you even get to lay down in that weird chair-bed kind of thing, the first awkward situation has already created itself. Because how do you lay down in that chair? Like, will you sit down at the end and then move yourself backwards slowly to ultimately sit comfortably in the chair or do you sit in the middle, then make some weird turn and then lay back down? You know, like, what even, can't you just use normal chairs, please? But oh well, you are finally laying / sitting in that stupid chair when the next problem arrises; when do you need to open your mouth? Do you open it when the dentists says so? Or do they expect you to open it already? Whatever you do, it will somehow always turn out awkward, because if you open it, you will lay there for half an hour with your mouth open waiting for the dentist to finally start and when you don't they are all of a sudden incredibly fast and they use their weird apparatus to open your mouth. But that's not just it. Because while you lay there with your mouth open, they start talking to you, like, seriously, you are using sticks and bores and all kinds of stuff in my mouth and you expect me to TALK? How even? I can barely swallow all the saliva that has for some reason decided to defy the rules of gravity, you know.
And then there are the awkward moments when you don't know where to look at because you were looking at the lamp above your head, but then all of a sudden they surprise you with a surprise-showing of their face and you accidentally made eye-contact and you start to wonder if they think it's as weird as you think it is.

2. When you meet an acquaintance or distant relatives
You go to a birthday-party of a family member and you walk into this room full of people which, by the way, is already an awkward experience in itself, but okay. So you start greeting your nieces and your aunts that you know with the regular procedure (whichever procedure that might be) and you walk across the room when all of a sudden there comes this family member / acquaintance and you either have no idea or you have a vague idea as to who he / she is. And then that person starts saying stuff like: "Hey, I'm [name], wow, you've gotten so much bigger. Last time I saw you you were two, I guess you don't remember me, do you?!". First of all, let me get this straight: humans grow, I know, it's weird but it's the truth, so of course I've gotten a lot taller and bigger. Secondly, I was TWO, how do you expect me to remember you? But anyway, then there is the next problem, because for the first close family members and friends you knew how to greet them, like hugging, kissing, etc. but with acquaintances or distant relatives you don't so you try to hug them (this like, awkward hug, like "this is just a formality, I don't actually know you nor do I actually want to hug you, but I'm supposed to"-hug) and then they want to KISS you so: HEAD-BUTT, ftw. Yep, that's how it goes.

3. When people say "put your phone away"
Whenever I'm in a social situation I'll take my phone out and play random games on my phone. But there will always be this person who will be like "Hey girl, put your phone away, come talk to us. It's fuuuuuuun to be here, enjoy yourself. Right now, you are just confirming the stereotypical image of teenagers being addicted to their phone". Which almost gives me a heart-attack because I don't wanna be the phone-addict but there's no way I'm gonna embarrass myself either, you know. Really, I enjoy looking at my phone playing random games a lot more than talking to people. Plus, when I'm looking at my phone screen people won't interact with me and I won't have to admit to the fact that humans do in fact exist.

4. When you are alone at a party because your friends are late (AGAIN)
You know, actually the awkward / difficult moment has already started before you even got to the party. Because on the one hand you don't want to be the one who is late because that means you'll have to enter the place at your own and everyone will look at you (although they won't, but that's what you make yourself believe anyway) but on the other hand, you don't want to be early because that means no one is gonna be there yet and you'll have to stand there awkwardly looking around, not wanting to talk to people but at the same time not wanting to appear to be this friendless person and you know that it will just be impossible to be right on time. So you end up going earlier because your friends said they were ready and would leave too. But the truth is, they didn't. So you stand there, anxiously waiting for someone to great you, looking around, feeling like you are gonna cry, waiting for your friends and all you wanna do is hide in the toilet but you don't wanna ask where the toilet is. So you'll just have to suck it up until your friends are there. DAMN-IT friends.

You are afraid an alike situation is gonna occur too.

5. Listening to music with headphones 
I think music is pretty much everybody's life. And maybe even more so for socially awkward people because when you have your headphones on / earphones plugged in, you appear to be unsocial so people won't talk to you (or at least... to some people; others seem to have a hard time understanding that). So you put you music on, but you don't want it to be too soft because you can't hear it, but when it's too loud, other people might be able to hear it. So you put the volume in between and check every five seconds to see if anyone can hear your music. I'm still waiting for the moment where they create headphones / earphones that block the sound for the outside world (although I doubt that would assure me that people can't hear me, but whatever ;) ).

6. Being in an incredibly quiet environment, especially when other people are studying there. 
You have this test coming up in an hour and you still need to study, so you do the logic (yet hard, because you know, motivation and oh my, TV shows are so great and now that there is a Netflix-App) thing and go to the designated study-area in which everyone is always incredibly quiet. You sometimes wonder if those people sitting there are even alive because you can't even hear them breath. Yet, you are incredibly aware of your own breathing and all of a sudden it sounds like you are imitating the sound the van of an overheated Windows 98' computer makes, so you start holding your breath for as long as possible, then sighing incredibly loud, causing you to wonder which would be more annoying for the other people.

Yeah I know, I thought this was gross picture too.

7. When you have a cold and you need to make a test (or an EXAM)
For some reason, my body always seems to think that getting a cold during exam-week is an incredibly good idea. And not because it keeps me from studying, but because I get a running nose during all those test. And so I'll sit there, not wanting to ask for a napkin or taking one out of my pocket because a) then I'll need to sit there with the gross napkin, b) I'll have to blow my nose, making an even grosser and louder sound, and c) because it will make a sound I take one out of the plastic or d) I didn't bring them. So there we go, I sit there trying to stop my running nose without blowing it, being incredibly aware of the (noticeable) frustration that I'm causing for people and being aware of how annoying it is because I know I can't stand it because I can't concentration when there is sound.